Throw it out
You'd think a copywriter's job would be to create copy. In fact, I spend more time deleting it, throwing it out. Take this general rule, across all media: you need less than you think.
Even excellent copy can get lost if there's too much going on. So strip it back, keep it simple, and only tell them what needs to be told.
Web users are pretty lazy. We scroll, scan, scroll some more.
Long story short – weak copy doesn't hold strong. Messaging online needs to be bold, regardless of your niche or industry. Above all else, that means being direct.
Got a point? Get to it.